dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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