The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
