he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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