I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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