A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize