She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize