Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize