a queef is a wish your heart makes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
