Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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