I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho