In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.