My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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