i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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