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• (305): View more from Florida

  go do what you do best...puke behind churches

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• (760): View more from California

  genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over

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• (607): View more from New York

  The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick

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• (562): View more from California

  The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.

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