So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
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it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!