How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
