I look better un-naked...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
