Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
