I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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