Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
