After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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