omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
