all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
