i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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