Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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