the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize