Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize