Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
