i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
