If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
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DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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