Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize