Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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