Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
