Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
