where does the pee come out of this thing
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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