cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
