She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
