i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.