Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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