allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize