my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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