Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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