I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
