That reminds me...we need to get swords
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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