What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
