I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is Oprah even human
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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