dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
