Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Randomize
