I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
