For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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