I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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