My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
