I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
