why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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