I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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