i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize