So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
