It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
