Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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