How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
