Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
