R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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