I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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