Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize